Monday, June 25, 2007

My Personal Philosophy...

... If you can't spell, pronounce, or otherwise identify it, DON'T EAT IT

... If two or more of its ingredients cannot be obtained in non-powdered form,

... In other words, if your food is not made of food,

This orange creamsicle cake monstrosity assaulted me with a most pungent chemical aroma. I was at least three feet away. It smelled like orange-clean-your-toilet-bowl spray. I gagged. Really. I did. Then I had to get in close to get a picture. I put my olfactory neurons on the line for my journalistic (food-alistic?) integrity. Hope you can all appreciate my sacrifice.

Check out what I can only assume to be trans-fat globules on the corrugated tin material of the container. Gag.

I am done ranting now. Thank you for your time and attention.


aimee said...

I'm so glad the word creamsicle is not in rotation in Britain. I hate it; it makes me cringe and think of tacky sex shops. I don't want to think about why, thank you.

I actually have no clue what creamsicle cake *shudder* is, but it looks like sloppy mashed potato with some kind of fake cheese product dandruff. Were you actually eating in a place that sold this? Or is your dedication to foodalism(?) such that you really went out of your way to bring this monstrosity to your readers? (By readers I mean adoring fans, obviously.)

Rachael said...

I once worked in (food) product development. It was basically a kitchen and lab in one. There were things that if you dropped on the floor, would eat the floor. It was sketchy stuff, lemme tell ya!

Anna said...

Aimee - The tacky sex shop cake was from a grocery store. One of my lab mates brought it in for everyone to share. Very nice gesture, very digusting cake. Adoring fans. Hee.

Rachael - That is terrifying. It really is.

It's absurd what manufacturers can get away with. Something about "natural flavors" not being actually derived from the food they emulate - just a chemical compound that approximates it. Is that right?

JC said...

This makes me think of Clark Griswold inventing a "non-nutritive food varnish".